P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
