i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
