i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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