yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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