I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
