I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
