I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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