I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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