Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
