I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
