As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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