Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Randomize