The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
