He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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