she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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