we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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