No awkward lesbian experiences without me
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
pray to the hookup gods
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize