you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Ladies don't puke and tell
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
