Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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