Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
