No, you can still breathe under the balls.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize