in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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