another moral hangover. fuck.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize