Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
