I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize