found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
