im drinking this country out of the recession.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
