remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
