So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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