90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize