I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
