how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
