Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
