You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
