I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
