I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
