Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
