Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
