I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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