Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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