Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
the condom got lost in my hair
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
