This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
