Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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