I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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