I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
