Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
