I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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