Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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