I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
