Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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