Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
