This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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