I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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