Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
