three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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