party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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