Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
