Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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