You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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