Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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