is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize