then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
