Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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