So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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