I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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