i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
