I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
