Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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