do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
