Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
