a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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